didn’t mean to shame…

I completely get it G,. Last year I was asked to put together a 7 door trail for Ventnor Fringe… 7 artists etc to make work about the place, time, etc. I cut up my door panel and used it as a “who we are” interactive/ opening the door, looking through a window to see someone else on the other side / or to look again at the surroundings etc. I had felt terrible that I hadn’t connected people to the amazing drawings made from the Gaza children ( I’d planned a year ago to offer our children’s drawings as a symbol of common humanity…and the Isle of Wight has been compared to being similar in size to Gaza).

So I created one half of the door full of Palestinian children’s drawings and wonderful wishes.. and the other side was for visitors to look through, photograph, play around with.. and connect with our friends so far away.

But, you know I know now that I really caused offence as the side with the Hope and Play end was installed facing away from the public, facing trees, when it was supposed to be placed in the open, all sides open for access.

I did a talk as well and people were just silent and I had the impression I had really offended them. I spoke about the door, and what I learnt.. and that this piece of work was the most powerful thing because it showed me ( and us) our apathy, people’s not wanting to know… and I have photographs of people glancing but walking by.. getting on with their everyday stuff.. when all along the plea, plight and talents of the children and workers at Hope and Play ….we’re just there.. part of the work, part of the fringe… part of our lives.

When spoken of this the people were quiet and I thought I’d actually maybe got it wrong…and maybe I was wrong… or maybe I hadn’t explained it too well..? 

I don’t think the people liked to be shown their helplessness ) when I have a kind hat on) or they didn’t like to be seen as uncaring/

Or empathetic.. because it just doesn’t fit into the knowledge who they are and want to be perceived ?

I felt such a weight my friend. And, because I couldn’t face being there … facing my own huge failings to action something that to me seemed so simple. I think I became quite down, but I have acknowledged my limitations where I guess other people didn’t want to / know: and probably also too painful to acknowledge for the most. 

And the children, and Maysa, and  Sabrina(?).. and some children had written my name thanking me… and sent so much love.. yet I couldn’t give them what I wanted.. and what I thought would be so simple.. the hope and love back.

Sigh.

It IS so difficult isn’t it. And now, when it’s rarely mentioned in the propaganda news.. when smokescreens and distractions and politics try to steer us away to even think about Palestine. And for us to believe the ceasefire happened and that’s that.